Frequently Asked Questions
Which skills are most important to family building?
One of the most important skills that we can learn as a parent and as a family member and spouse is how to communicate with our loved ones. But sadly this is something that is not studied. We take classes to learn how to strengthen our cores, how to clean our ovens, how to do our taxes, but we don’t take classes in one of the most important skills to maintaining a happy private life.
How is being sex-positive important to parenting and comprehensive sex education?
A sex-positive conversation is a gateway discussion to talking about identity, sexual harassment, self-worth, body awareness, power, and sexuality. Being able to educate your kid about sex in ways that are positive and not fear based (such as mainly being focus on STDs or pregnancy prevention) opens up new levels of communication and understanding even in areas seemingly unrelated to sexuality.
Comprehensive sex education needs to include a conversation around pleasure. Pleasure is something that boys and men too often feel is their birthright, whereas girls and women are often indoctrinated that it is their duty to give pleasure and look pleasing. The intimate act of advocating for your own pleasure could almost be seen as the most basic fundamentals of equality and feminism. But to demand these rights a girl needs support to be fully embodied.
How does “relationship artistry” work in intimate relationships or marriage?
Relationships are not static, we do not simply get married and live “happily ever after.” Yet this fantasy is pervasive and ultimately inhibits positive growth in our marriages. Too often the only time couples roll up their sleeves and devote time and energy to shaping their relationship together is in a couples therapy office when things are not going well. This is commendable—it is good to work through difficult times together! My point—and this is important—is that the time, effort, compassion, and curiosity you exert to motivate you to see a therapist can also be brought to all interactions with your life partner. Relationship artistry can be an exciting way to keep a long-term connection spontaneous, exciting, and vital. It does require that both of you be willing to learn to “dance” well together—alternating who leads–while being responsive and attuned to each other.